Navigating infertility or any kind of fertility journey can be deeply emotional, isolating, and overwhelming. If someone you care about is facing this, you may find yourself wondering what to say—or what not to say. While you may not be able to fix what they’re going through, your support can make a world of difference.
At Reach Fertility, we understand how important a strong support system is. Here are some meaningful and compassionate ways to be there for a friend or family member during this sensitive time.
1. Listen Without Trying to Solve
Sometimes, the best thing you can offer is your presence. Let your loved one vent, cry, or talk about their experience without jumping in to offer solutions or stories about someone else who “just relaxed and got pregnant.” Fertility journeys are highly individual—offering your ears and your heart is often enough.
2. Educate Yourself
Learn about the basics of fertility treatments, such as IVF, IUI, or egg freezing. This shows your loved one that you care enough to understand what they’re going through. It can also help you avoid unintentionally insensitive comments or questions.
3. Respect Their Privacy
Some people are very open about their fertility journey, while others prefer to keep it private. Follow their lead. Don’t bring up the topic unless they do, and never share their story with others without explicit permission.
4. Be Mindful of Your Language
Phrases like “everything happens for a reason” or “at least you know you can get pregnant” may come from a good place but can be incredibly hurtful. Instead, try saying:
- “I’m here for you.”
- “That sounds really hard—thank you for sharing it with me.”
- “I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I want to support you however I can.”
5. Offer Practical Help
Infertility treatments can be time-consuming and physically draining. Offer tangible support—like driving them to appointments, preparing a meal, or helping with childcare if they have other children. Small gestures can provide big comfort.
6. Celebrate and Mourn With Them
Every win and every loss on a fertility journey is significant. Be there to celebrate good news (when they’re ready to share), and be present during the difficult times. A simple message on the day of a procedure or during a difficult wait can mean so much.
7. Check In—But Gently
It's okay to check in, but avoid pressuring them for updates. A text like “Thinking of you—here if you want to talk” gives them the option to open up without feeling obligated.
8. Honor Their Boundaries
If they skip baby showers or family gatherings, don’t take it personally. These events can be triggering for those struggling with fertility. Let them know it’s okay to take space and that you respect their emotional needs.
9. Stay in It for the Long Haul
Fertility journeys can stretch out for months or even years. Your consistent support—through the ups, the downs, and the in-betweens—is what truly matters.
Supporting someone through a fertility journey takes empathy, patience, and love. Just being there—without judgment or pressure—can be one of the most powerful gifts you offer. If you or someone you love is on a fertility journey, know that professional help is available, and compassionate care can make all the difference. Learn more about how we support our patients at Reach Fertility.
